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Bullying in local school
We started our son in a local Belgian school this September and he has had a tough time with some of other kids in the school. I suppose some of it could be seen as playful teasing (if you were really being generous), but some is definitely bullying. My son's teacher agrees, and says that the kids who have been pointed out to her are indeed troublemakers. Two children who specifically targeted my son (together, so two on one) apparently were sent to the principal's office. One of them has bothered my son after this, and one hasn't. Most, if not all, of the aggressive behavior is coming from children older than my son.
My son is understandably bothered by this. He comes home for lunch now, because it is too uncomfortable for him there. He is just learning French so already feels at a disadvantage and vulnerable. And he is young, only in 1st grade. In addition to reassuring him that his teacher is there to help and that we will do what we can, we tell him to stand up for himself. But I don't really think it's the responsibility of a 5-going-on-6-year-old to make himself feel safe at school.
My husband says that at least two of his Belgian colleagues have said that their kids were bullied at school. They used that word. They attended local school, but outside of Brussels. Our baby sitter has said the same. A different teacher at our current school has also told me that bullying is a problem at this school as well as some (but not all) others in the area.
I do not believe children here are meaner or more aggressive than anywhere else, but what I have noticed is a distinct lack of adult supervision at drop-off and recess times. I have been told that this is a problem in many schools, both communal and Catholic.
We are at the end of our rope. Our son is an incredibly social little boy who normally makes friends everywhere he goes. Nevertheless, we anticipated a potentially rocky transition to school here, academically and even socially—but certainly not this.
I am curious if anyone else has had a similar experience, and what the outcome was. Did you manage to make the school work for you? Or did you change to another local school? International school? I would be very grateful for any specific school names people are happy with. Many thanks in advance.
I have nothing to add other than I looked up what the PMS is: http://pro.guidesocial.be/associations/cpmsdeux-cocof.15559.html
I hope that you will be able to receive the support you need. All the best
PMS stands for Psycho Medico Social - a team consisting of a psycologist, a nurse, and a social worker who are there to help the school and children with any problems that may affect schooling. Every French Comminity school has one, and I think the Dutch schoools have an equivalent.
The number to contact should be posted somewhere at school and should be in the school rulebook that you should have read at the beginning of the year. It should also be on the schhool website, or ask a teacher for their details.
The school is way outside of Brussels, Near Tienen. The Wjsneus
Hi Elizabeth, my answer is the same as Isbabell's. My Son is also in an elitist school probably the same one and like her son I only discovered the bullying after it had been going on for about 2 years. I went straight up to the school and let rip at the very inexperienced teacher. I told him in no uncertain terms he was to blame for ignoring the problem and he had a fight on his hands now as I was contacting the principle and letting her know exactly what had been going on. I wrote a very detailed and factual letter to her listing exactly what had happened. She was marvellous and is completely anti bullying. She had the problem sorted out very quickly. The bully concerned had a history and was told to apologise change his ways of be expelled. You can not let this pass any school is responsible for the welfare and care of children and this has to be addressed. In my own job I have to complete an anti bullying and harassment course every 2 years as it's EU legislation. Go up there and demand to see the head it's their overall responsibility. You do not want your poor child to suffer. Good luck
I do think you are right about your observation on the lack of supervision at recess, etc. My oldest was in a Belgian maternelle for a year, and while she settled in we still decided to move her to an international school because we didn't like the "Lord of the Flies" type recess.
I don't think it is acceptable if the head master doesn't answer your message, once 10 days have gone by I think you should follow up with a new mail, stating that you are surprised that you have not received a reply, that you expect her/him to work with you on this, and that unless you get a response and a meeting to understand how the school plans to address this situation then the next step will be to contact the inspector.
Maybe it is not fair to generalize, but my general experience with Belgians is that unless they know you mean business they can be extremely passive.
Viola, I was just going to post something about families that decided to move from local school to international school. We are considering this, for a variety of reasons. Could I possibly email you separately to ask your experience of this? Or you could contact me, hruskova [at] mac [dot] com. Thank you in advance!
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