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Cost of divorce
I'm in the middle of a divorce and the proceedings started October last year. It looks like I'm going to be officially divorced in June this year. During this time I have been asked to attend a number of meetings with my lawyer, to discuss alimony for me and the kids plus the usual practical matters. I understood today that what we have been discussing only concerns the "divorce period" and that after the court settles the actual divorce, the case is taken to another court to settle the financial details "post divorce" and that this can take several months due to the fact that we don't agree. I have already payed thousands of euros to my lawyer (to deal with formalities) and dread the final bill. In total I think my divorce will cost 15000 euros. Any experience on this? Is this really normal? It seems so slow and inefficient and the only person gaining from this is the lawyer...
Your last line said it all. But if you can't agree terms, what can you do?
"Is this really normal?"
No it isn't.
"this can take several months due to the fact that we don't agree"
I can assure you, if you don't agree, it will take a LOT longer than several months.
I got divorced about 10 years ago and it cost me less than €500, and that was with a house, other assets, alimony payments and three kids to deal with. If you don't want or can't afford a lawyer, negotiate a settlement with your partner WITHOUT using a lawyer.
The divorce system here in Belgium is remarkably simple if you can agree. It costs virtually nothing. On the other hand, if you involve lawyers and the courts to impose settlements, as you have discovered, it will cost you an arm and a leg.
You could try and get a better legal advisor by going through a mediation system, as opposed to a lawyer.
The very broad basis of divorce settlements in Belgium is that everything that each partner brought to the marriage belongs to that partner, and everything that was acquired since the marriage belongs to the partners in equal shares. Clearly provision for any children complicates matters but, there to, there is a base assumption that custody is shared equally (unless they are very small).
Deviating significantly from that, without agreement, is effectively as good as burning your money.
The solution is easy, don't pay your lawyer.
It seems unlikely that you would be able to get a bank loan, Belgium has strict rules about affordability.
Have you talked to your commune's CPAS (or the flemish equivalent). Even though you probably won't qualify for financial help from them, they can be an excellent source of free impartial advice, and you can be certain that they have come across similar cases before.
One important question, by the way, if you don't work here, is whether you have acquired permanent residence rights (as evidenced by a E+ or F+ eID card) - or have become a Belgian citizen.
The way around it is to stop paying a lawyer and 1) represent yourself or 2) ask your spouse to use mediation and keep asking over and over and over.
My husband abandoned me and then refused maintenance and refused mediation, dragged me through courts so many times not to pay, I ended up representing myself and finally he agreed to mediation, but it took me 18 months of asking. It doesn't have to be face to face.
However, it really isn't too difficult self represent and the end result is likely to be as above. If it's you wanting more than your share, I'd say give up now and concede and start putting children before yourself. If it's your spouse wanting more, then self represent, your spouse is unlikely to succeed. Just stand there and tell the judge. They are not thick and have seen it all before. I rather enjoyed my last appearance self representing, great satisfaction knowing I could not be bullied into dropping my children's need for maintenance from a long parted father.
Hi. As far as I know, divorce process is a bit time consuming process. I have seen my colleague going through divorce few days back. He also had to do number of meetings with the lawyer to discuss the issues. Few days back, I read about a lawyer Bechara Tarabay on the internet. I found about the Twitter page of the lawyer at http://twitter.com/bechara56. I think we need to have patience and understanding to deal with such legal matters. It is better to choose a lawyer who does not charge more fees.
