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Money Matters....or does it?
Hello Ladies & Gents,
A question to you all today - just a question for your opinion(s) and thoughts -thank you !
Here is the story:
I took out a loan for my partner (in my name) some time ago to help clear up some money issues. It was done to help and as always, in the name of love !
Situation is this (and has been for sometime!):
Partner has fallen behind with repayments due to this and that and other money matters, not told me and unexpectedly I have had a seizure on my salary ! For sometime now I have been "paying" this back ("normal" as the loan was in my name !) and this is proving a strain on us, on many differents aspects !
Naturally I am dissapointed with this and I cannot help feeling a bit let down and to a certain extent my trust is betrayed.
Also I feel that that there is this attitude of " well, cannot pay it back myself, what do you want me to do about it?" and that it is one problem less for my partner to worry about.
With that I cannot help but feel a bit used, to say the least.
I know that this all seems very very selfish of me, but I cannot help thinking like this.
Am I really that bad or wrong or even right to think like this?
Many thanks for independent thoughts and for being objective !
Get real. There is one selfish person in this situation and that is your partner.
Getting behind on the loan repayments and not telling you STRAIGHT AWAY is unfathomable and inexcusable.
If things have gone so far that the repayments are now automatically taken from your salary, this means that you have been blacklisted for any future loans, credit cards etc. etc. in Belgium which potentially has really big negative consequences for you for years to come. What a nice thing to do to another person!
Your "partner" sounds like a real gem.
Last time I knew someone this happened to, it ended up as a police matter. They looked into it and found he'd conned about €200,000 out of a succession of "friends" and "partners".
If it's got to the salary seizure stage already, the situation is already very bad indeed. I would suggest that you no longer regard this person as a "partner".
You certainly need some good advice and need a lawyer as soon as possible.
There have been previous posts about this on here so searches should give some good contacts and good luck
If money is spent beyond one's means and causes one to be secretive, then causes upset and costs much more for another who has made the loan in good faith, money matters - a lot!
Those who are organised in money matters and have a responsible attitude towards bills and payments find it hard to understand those who could get themselves into difficulty in the first place, however, love allowed you to see beyond that and well done you - many people are heartless when it comes to money.
Unfortunately, it seems that your partner did not learn a hard enough lesson from your act of love though, despite receiving the benefits.
It does not sound like there is any shame or embarrassment from your partner either, let alone a sense of responsibility, so it is no wonder that you feel used. It does not mean that your partner set out to use you but if the resulting feeling is as such and the attitude towards you is careless, maybe it is time for you to get selfish, whatever that means to you, as it sounds like you will be paying the bill, no matter what.
I quite agree with all the above. Get out while you can, if what you say is true only heartache lays ahead.
Until the loan is paid off, and then a year after, you will be black listed and barred from borrowing money yourself. I don't really understand how you can think that you are bad or wrong, what your partner did was an incredibly selfish thing, even if he/she ran out of money you should have been told before it got that bad. To me this would be completely unacceptable, I would consult a lawyer to see what could be done, and then I would dump the idiot.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be.
Before any more harm is done, end this one-sided relationship. I speak from bitter experience.
