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Stalking and more
My ex partner is making my life miserable. He has been following me, sending me letters how bad I'm ..ect..recently He made up a story about me and posted it on internet - in his story he states how bad I'm, that I own him money, even that I was working as a prostituee..After reading this I'm really depressed. I just cant believe this is happenIng to me.I have never done such things what he describes in his posts.
I'm not sure how to act.
Am I the only person around with these problems? Or do you have similar negative experiences? How did you cope with this? Did you press charges at the police? Did you use lawyer or you have managed Without lawyer.
Any advice and opinion is welcome.
The first stop is the police, who will advise on gathering evidence and personal safety.
That's awful for you. As J above says go to the police. If you still have the letters take them as evidence also if he is texting you don't delete the texts but show them to the police too. They will help you sort this out. Good luck
Agree with J. Most important is that you record everything that happens: keep a dedicated log in which you put all the phonecalls (so can be checked with his phonerecords by police later), events (places and dates when he followed you) keep all letters, texts etc.
Recently in Belgian press there has been a lot to do about web pages in which schoolgirls were commented on as hookers, so Belgium police should allow you to file a complaint (defamation).
On a personal note: I´m sorry this is happening to you and unfortunately it happens quite a lot. I think the general advice for victims of stalking is to not respond, no matter how difficult this is. Don´t get into any discussion, don´t answer his calls, don´t confront him on the street, don´t contact him whatsoever. All his actions are done with the sole purpose of getting a (any) reaction from you, so that he knows you ´care´. If it would ever come to a real (court) case, you having contacted him will count against you. The sad thing is that he will probably find a new victim after a while. Obviously, when it gets worse (threatening you physically) you should notify the police.
Sorry to hear about your troubles.
My sister went through this not so long ago and the ex-partner really made everyones life quite difficult. Definitely go to the police as soon as possible. As well as that, make sure you keep records of everything he does in this regard, time, date, place, what and how. Keep everything he sends you and if you can take snapshots of things that he put up on the internet etc, it will be very helpful for your cause to prove that he is actively harassing you.
I wish you all the best!
Very sorry for you. I had several months of harassment by a certain method and lies told about me and face pulling. I know a little of how it feels to feel defenceless, in my case I couldn't report it as it was someone working for the Police involved. If you can trust the Police to take you seriously, there is a mediation service attached to each Police station with a civilian employed and there to mediate without it becoming a legal complaint, we tried but failed in this route, but if the mediator were to call in your ex, that might make a difference, might leave you alone and you without having to "relive" it all by making an official Police complaint which can drag on for years.
If you want to send me an email ... sarah ironside at ec.europa.eu ..... I'll put you in touch with someone who has experienced this and can give you excellent advice on how to proceed. The advise above is totally correct and I can reassure you that the police here treat this extremely seriously and there are many support structures for you.
Contact Community Helpline services in Belgium:
CHS Help Line
+32 (0) 2 648 40 14
An anonymous and confidential 24-hour Crisis and Information telephone service.
Tel: +32 (0) 2 647 67 80
Fax: +32 (0) 2 646 72 73
Email: chs@chsbelgium.org
