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Tu v Vous
I know that 'vous' shows respect and that the rules of play on which to use are very complex and ill defined...but I would like your view on this..
I have taken on a once a week cleaning lady through titres service (Belgian French speaker) . I would like to be friendly but respectful. So far we both use 'vous'. Would it be considered ok to move to 'tu'? Should I initiate this by asking if its ok? Or what is the friendly respectful thing to do? I'm happy with either but I don't want to give the impression of being overly formal, as I am not naturally like that with anyone. I would prefer a friendly atmosphere.
Thoughts ????
"Tu" would be talking down to her. If you respect her as a person and as someone you employ, you would keep it as "vous". The "tu" situation would be apropriate when you are sufficiently friendly that you both sit down for a cup of tea and a chat.
A simple rule of thumb.
"Vous" will never give offence; "tu" might.
I've lived here for over 25 years and my simple rule of thumb is use "vous" until the other person starts using "tu".
For example, my neighbors either side of me that i've know for at least 20 years each, one side have been "tu" (and we use first names) ever since the second time I met them, the others are "vous" (and are Mr and Mme) and will probably remain so. We know both of them well, they come to our house for drinks, we've had dinner with them etc. etc., but that's just the way it is??!!
It may sound strange, but I think that you just have to go with what feels right.
Personally, I would in any case go with "vous" for anyone who worked for me, whether in the office, or in a domestic / home situation. It's just easier.
Something I was taught years ago:
Children and animals = tu
Everyone else: vous
