Search Q&A
bullying
I am being severely bullied by my boss and head of the small company I am employed by. It has been going on on and off for years but has escalated out of control recently. There is no separate HR, no trade union. As with most bullying it is very difficult to prove and much of it sounds pathetic and stupid when taken out of context. I am exhausted, demotivated and frankly frightened. I am of course looking for a new job however in the meantime I have to stay. I can see that he is trying to build up a case to sack me for faute grave or such like. I have now joined a union but cannot get any free legal advice until I have been a member for 6 months.
Have you been bullied? What did you do?
Yes, I had a similar experience around 5 years ago. The only thing to do is to find another job - you will drive yourself mad trying to sort this out and your sanity is far more important!! Fortunately, I managed to find another job and then handed my resignation in immediately. Because the work atmosphere was so bad, my boss agreed to me leaving immediately and paid me for my notice period. I would have left in any case.
where possible try to limit your conversations on paper (for instance by email) which can be considered as proof of his behavior.
be firm and say that verbal communication is no longer authorized. he probably knows the risk of bullying you by email and might stop.
Be professional, but take control. Write and send a letter by regular post and recomende to the company and to your boss via email. Explain your side of the situation and that you have joined a union. Explainw hat you want out of this - a peaceful working environment- and explain who you will only communicate via email until this can be sorted out, but expressly say you are willing and able to do any duty asked as you have done for years. Let him know that you are serious without being aggressive. If he has a conversation with you immediately recap the conversation and write it via mail asking him if he agrees saying if he does not counter that this is the truth basically... I had a lying colleague once and this is how we had to handle it... recap and email each conversation.... it developes a pattern
The bully gets their kicks from 'engaging' with you in bullying ways. I handled a bully by limiting interaction to what was profesionally necessary ....until I could find another job....and keeping records of everything. Hard as it is, stay professional yourself in any interactions and limit it to the minimum.
Develop good self care, breathe and tell yourself that the issue is with him. Dont let anger eat you up, although it is natural.
Take care.
I had a similar situation 2 years ago... I reached a point where I chose my sanity and resigned without having another job( I just had no luck at finding one in time). I know was not so smart but I couldnt handle it anymore. Now I'm still looking for a good job with no luck.
So please before you leave make sure find a job first . its a shame we work with people who do everything to make you lose motivation and build a case to fire you. How awful is that ..how do they even sleep at night?
check this http://www.attentia.be/site/index.php, they had helped my husband when dealing with bullying boss.
This happened to me also, and I was trapped because if I quit I would owe them the equivalent of my pay for the rest of the contract. I am not proud of this, but I maintain that it was utterly necessary: I explained the situation to my doctor, and, after I spoke about it for four minutes, she said, "you can't go back there again." She wrote me a medical certificate stating that their "harcelement morale" was making me ill, and I never went back. Belgian law obligated them to pay me (they paid my salary for a part of the time, and after that the mutuelle took over).
> exhausted, demotivated and frankly frightened
= depression.
ENBH.BXL has come up with the most practical suggestion by far. You can be off for months with depression, and the costs of it for a small employer can be a nightmare.
And do not feel guilty about it. Good employers don't bully. Bad ones cost themselves money.
I loved my job but was regularly bullied by my previous boss in the EPP political group; I was not allowed to quit due to all the rules and regulations under EU & Belgian employment laws. His bullying tactics were not working, so he swapped me for his lover, told the hierarchy that I didn't want to do my job and he ended my contract.
I was told that my boss did this to everybody. Not nice.
As hard as it might seem just ignore your boss, get on with the job in hand and remember it is not for the rest of your life.
There is a legislation protecting your from bullying, you can report it directly to the police. Investigation will be started, and during that time you can remain at home, protected from being fired. Of course, it being a small company you will probably never be able to return. But it would give you freedom to recuperate and search for a different job. Is your company attached to a medical agency (securex, idewe, mensura?), they can assist you as well.
