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Custody worry
My partner and I are splitting up. He makes at least 6 times more than me, now that I will be living apart from him with our very young daughter, I make barely enough for the two of us.
I wanted to find another job in the EU, something that makes more so I can support myself and my daughter, but he got angry and he said if I do that I can go alone, without our daughter.
Questions,
I am Belgian, our daughter also is Belgian, my partner is an EU national but not belgian, can he prevent me from taking a job at another country and moving there with our daughter?
What's the law here with custody for very young children, is it shared or do they stay with their mothers until a certain age then we will have shared custody?
if the father earns a considerable amount bigger than the mother, do we still have to pay everything for the child 50-50 or is there a percentage system?
What are the areas he can hurt me the most as he has the means to hurt me (financially) and if he does, I would not be able to fight back because of lack of funding.
Please someone help me, I am exhausted, worried and confused.
Thank you in advanced at anyone who is kind enough to help out a future single mom in distress.
Why do you want to take your daughter away from her father?
In my opinion, she should live with her father. Then you will be free to go anywhere you want.
Gender equality, huh? Well, fathers have also rights.
The answer to your question is almost certainly yes, he can prevent you from taking his daughter away to another country. I base that on what I have seen happen when someone tried to do it, not from any knowledge of the law.
Unlike the UK where fathers have to prove they are not child beating rapists and fight for years to eventually get to see kids who have forgotten who they are, fathers in Belgium have equal rights to mothers and equal access. Ask yourself how you would like the law to work if the father wanted to take his daughter away to another country?
50-50 is normal (1 week on, 1 week off). As far as I know, you would not normally get support from the father.
You can live and work where you want, but you will have to respect this 50-50 rule. In practice, that will mean that you are both going to have to live within reasonable reach of your daughter's school.
He cannot decide on custody. Only a judge can do that. He cannot withhold your daughter from you. If he is making such threats, gather proof and go to see a lawyer.
You do need advice - it sounds like this is going to be messy and unpleasant, and I think you will need a professional ASAP to represent your interests.
Hey, sorry to hear about your trouble.
You'll definitely need to take it to a judge. He won't give you full custody unless you've got proper proof of the father being an unfit parent, but he will tell you how much alimony/child support you'll be getting. He will basically just calculate it according to both of your income and how much it'll actually cost for you to raise your daughter in a comfortable way. It won't cost you much, and in Belgium you can get free legal aid too if you're income is on the low side.
Hi Worriedandconfused, sorry hear your problem. Here the usual split is 50 50 so I think removing your child will be hard, if not impossible. If you move away from Belgium you won't have any family or friends to help you at a difficult time. . If your partner earns more and you split up he will have to pay half of the cost of your daughters care and expense. This may mean he has to offer you some support. I suggest you go and seek proper legal advice rather than asking people on a forum for advice. All the best
The usual split is 50-50 after the age of 4, until then it's the mother. Under certain conditions the court might allow you to move to another country. The father has to pay you also a maintenance if you earn less (even if the split is 50-50) because you have to provide equal lifestyle for the child. Get a lawyer as soon as possible, communicate as much as possible in writing and keep proof of all sms and e-mails. I can recommend personally Aline VIS, av. de Broqueville, 116, 1200 BRUXELLES. Tel: 02/770.22.21.
Hi again, Benelux is a long commute each week to pass a child over, I understand your wish to move away but think carefully about the cost to you in time and driving expenses. Maybe just change your commune and stay more local to your ex. Also starting new with a young child might be very challenging crèche, new job new home etc. this is going to pretty traumatic for you both. Maybe go and speak to a therapist to and work out what this whaling to be in a different country to your daughters father is really about
