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Custody worry
My partner and I are splitting up. He makes at least 6 times more than me, now that I will be living apart from him with our very young daughter, I make barely enough for the two of us.
I wanted to find another job in the EU, something that makes more so I can support myself and my daughter, but he got angry and he said if I do that I can go alone, without our daughter.
Questions,
I am Belgian, our daughter also is Belgian, my partner is an EU national but not belgian, can he prevent me from taking a job at another country and moving there with our daughter?
What's the law here with custody for very young children, is it shared or do they stay with their mothers until a certain age then we will have shared custody?
if the father earns a considerable amount bigger than the mother, do we still have to pay everything for the child 50-50 or is there a percentage system?
What are the areas he can hurt me the most as he has the means to hurt me (financially) and if he does, I would not be able to fight back because of lack of funding.
Please someone help me, I am exhausted, worried and confused.
Thank you in advanced at anyone who is kind enough to help out a future single mom in distress.
By the age of 5, whilst 50/50 is the norm here for shared care, 50/50 is also the norm for shared costs.
If a parent has a net income 10 times the other, then the richer parent pays the poorer parent maintenance!!!!!!! Yes even if shared care 50/50. You cannot have a child brought up 50/50 where one week a child lives in severe poverty then the next week in luxury.
The way to do it first is to get a separation or file for divorce. Please don't mess around with this, you'll get no financial support from CPAS at all until you do.
Then the best thing is to try and avoid court and work out costs of running 2 households. Then if there is major discrepancy in incomes, the richer household must subsidize the poorer household. If one side refuses to cooperate in the workings of these costs, then you have no choice, you will need to go to court.
Try to avoid using lawyers, they almost always will make things so much harder and will make things last longer so they can earn more.
The usual divorce route here, if you want to use legal help, is though a mediator or notaire. A Lawyer is the most expensive option.
I'd go for mediator asap, even if you don't want to. Lawyers act in THEIR interests, even the most moral of them. The longer they can make the case last, the better for them.
Do ignore the UNTRUE post above about it not costing much and just how easy it is to get a free lawyer.
It is SHIT HARD to get a free lawyer here, everyone will make it as hard as possible for you to get one, then they'll give you one which will almost definitely screw you anyway, unless you have your wits about you.
And the free lawyer only lasts as long as your income stays very low, the minute you earn more (which you'll have to if the father doesn't contribute), then you'll have to pay. Legal aid here is a disgrace.
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