My mother, my self: Sachli Gholamalizad tours with award-winning play

When I meet Sachli Gholamalizad in a diner in Antwerp, one of the first things she tells me is that, although A Reason To Talk tells the story of a young Iranian family finding their way in a small town in Belgium after fleeing the Iranian Revolution, she doesn’t want to be pushed into that little box of “immigrant artist”.

Born in Iran, Gholamalizad (pictured) has been living in Belgium for more than 25 years. “I have Iranian roots, but that label is too narrowing,” she explains. For her, A Reason To Talk, which won the TAZ theatre festival’s Circuit X award this year for new playwrights, is much more than an immigrant story. Through video projections and text, a defiant Gholamalizad engages in a conversation with her mother on stage.

“I’m telling a universal story,” she explains. “It is the story of a mother and a daughter unable to communicate, unable to ask each other certain questions or to understand the answers they get.”

Cultural taboos
Although Gholamalizad and her mother were both born in Iran, they don’t share the same culture. “Growing up in Belgium, I couldn’t tell my mother I was in love with a boy or, god forbid, had sex with one. There were so many taboos that alienated us from one another.”  So she turned to the stage to confront her mother.

Her mother was not afraid to see her daughter’s play, making her antagonist and audience at the same time. “Call it a gesture of motherly love,” says Gholamalizad. “My mother hopes it helps me to get the answers I am looking for and to better understand the choices she made in life.”

The 32-year-old confesses that it sometimes makes her angry that she can’t get her more out of her mother, get her to really share what she thinks. “I would like her to respond to my provocations with anger, but she won’t, which makes me even more rebellious.” 

It must be said that the gentle, soft-voiced Gholamalizad sitting in front of me sipping from her tea is not at all like the hostile version she shows us on the stage.

Emotional
We take a little break. The puzzle Gholamalizad is trying to complete is still missing some pieces and reflecting on it still evokes emotions. She only slept for a couple of hours, she confides, as an excuse for her watery eyes.

As for me, I become a little emotional myself. It is a genuinely fragile and honest story she is sharing. Being a daughter and a mother myself, I can’t help but react. We laugh with our sniffing, and then she sets off again.  

“I have some vague memories of our house in Anzali.” Gholamalizad was only five when she left Iran for Belgium. “First we spent some time at the Klein Kasteeltje in Brussels, where many asylum seekers go when they first arrive here. Then we went to live in Essen [northern Antwerp province]. That’s where my mother, my two older brothers and I had to start a new life.”

Her father was only able to join them a few years later. “Trying to settle down, we experienced some kind of shift in the traditional roles children and parents fulfil in the family,” Gholamalizad explains. “Suddenly, the children had to be responsible. We had to be the interpreters when going to the doctor, school or when dealing with administration. We had to be a kind of bridge between our home and this new world.”

It was a responsibility to which Gholamalizad responded with years of rebellion.

“Rebellion, yes! Against everything and by any means. Most of all I was rebellious against being so different than everyone else. My family was different; I was different, while all I wanted was to fit in. It took me a couple of years before I saw being different as an asset, a richness. It took a trip to Iran to truly find myself.” 

In Iran in her 20s, she met with what she calls her soul mates, giving her much pursued insights into who she was and where she was heading. “Spending time in Iran at that age and stage in life helped me to be more at peace with myself. Maybe I needed to take some distance in order to come closer to the person I really am. Anyway, it somehow set me free and gave me the confidence to start telling my story.”

Sachli Gholamalizad’s A Reason to Talk is performed in Dutch. Check with venues for surtitle information

21 November 20.00
Daarkom
Wolvengracht 18, Brussels

29 November 20.00
Theater Zuidpool
Lange Noordstraat 11, Antwerp

photo by Sarah Oyserman